Yesterday, I retired from the Air Force after 24 years of service. It was 20 years longer than I had planned on staying, but I don’t regret a minute of it. Being an Air Force officer definitively shaped me into the man I am today and gave me everything I have. This includes the opportunity to marry the lady who became my wife who was in the Brazilian Air Force when we met.
As I reflected on my career and what I learned about leadership along the way, I’ve come to the conclusion that at its core, leadership is a relationship. It’s a relationship not just of pragmatics and practicality–getting things done through people–but more than that it’s a relationship of the heart. Getting to know your people, accepting them for who they are, letting them know who you are, and trusting them to get the job done.
Too often, unfortunately, I saw and worked for leaders who missed this fundamental requirement altogether. People were a means to an end, tools in the drive toward performance. Perhaps too, I was a little bit like that early on. It’s not a hard trap to fall into.
The quality of that relationship makes or breaks the culture of the organization and directly impacts performance. Would you rather have it be a good one or a bad one?
And maybe I’m a bit of a slow learner, but it was being in command of 3 squadrons, a group, and a wing that brought me forward into this true meaning of great leadership: you have to care about people.
– You have to care about them enough to let them know when they’ve fallen short or have drifted off the path.
– You have to care about them enough to tell them thank you for working those extra hours when the mission called for it.
– You have to care about them enough to ask them what’s going on in their lives, with their families, with their hopes and dreams.
– You have to cry with them when tragedy strikes and celebrate with them when they are victorious.
And you have to mean it.
I learned a little bit about this in every leadership job I had, but it was in my last and most rewarding position as a wing commander where everything came together and I finally got it about as right as I could get it.
In the final analysis, we’re all human, called and gifted in a variety of ways. If you’ve been able to develop the gift of leadership, it doesn’t necessarily make you a better human being, but it does make you accountable to others is a deep and profound way.
So make it count.
You have to respect the calls and gifts of others and accept that from time to time we’re all going to have a few missteps. It’s at those times where a little coaching and a helping hand can make all the difference.
Leadership is a relationship.
If you lead like this, I can guarantee that success in life will follow you everywhere you go.
I’m interested in your thoughts…let me know what you think!
By Joe Scherrer | The Leadership Crucible